personal

Old school feminists use the phrase ‘the personal is political’ in order to encourage women to see that their own problems with their lives were parallel to women’s lives all over the world – not just one woman’s problem to deal with, but feminist issues that we could all work together to change. When it comes to psychotherapy, the personal is also relevant professionally. While it is not necessary for the therapist to have had the same experience as the client for therapy to work, there are times when it is extremely useful for the therapist to have “been there” too.

Traditional psychoanalysts – Freud and his buddies – believed that the therapist should be a ‘blank page’, but many people now prefer to have a sense of the therapist as a human who has also struggled. Bu there are still important boundaries to keep in order for the therapeutic relationship to be a safe container. Therapy is in service of the client’s needs, and is held in confidentiality for that purpose. Therapist self-disclosure is appropriate when it is also in service of the client, as long as it feels like comfortable to the therapist also. Generally it is my habit to only share information about things I have also experienced if it feels like enough time and processing has happened that I do not feel like the issue is ‘live’ in the room.

However, it is not necessary for me to have lived experience with an issue to be helpful.